So I’ve read a lot of people on Facebook that are defining their word for the year. This is the word that defines your major goal for the year of 2017. I finally have mine.
I was driving home tonight after a writer’s meeting, and we had been discussing a book “The Story of With by Allen Arnold.” This is a book about living your life with God instead of for God. Anyways, the discussion got me thinking about my relationship with God, and on my way home, I decided to turn off my radio and have a conversation with Him. It went something like this.
“Okay, so everyone has a word for this year, what’s mine?”
Silence from the passenger seat. I started feeling a little down that the car hadn’t shook and God’s voice reigned down upon me with an answer.
“I know that the devil has been trying to steal my joy. Even right now, I can hear his doubts about my writing.”
A whisper I couldn’t quite grasp.
“Maybe this year I shouldn’t let him get in my head and steal my joy. Can Joy be my word? I mean does my word have to be a four syllable word that takes me four minutes to write in my prettiest handwriting, or can it be a three letter word that defines my course for this year?”
I feel a tug in my heart. “I mean finding and keeping my joy would be a task for me.”
(A little backstory, I suffer from bouts of depression that range from sadness to total brokenness.)
“I mean, I keep hearing everyone talking about dreaming big, and I want that too, but first I want to be happy where I am and not always rushing to move past this into my next path.” I bit my inner lip and listened as closely as I could, but God’s voice didn’t echo throughout my vehicle.
“I dream of a tiny house in a place where it snows, and a husband who wants to nuzzle my hear, but out two-year-old interrupts us, and we laugh because we know that our life is complete.”
“I know that it’ll probably never happen because I’m 33 and …” Tears came to my eyes because I had given up on this dream without even realizing.
God had shown me throughout the course of this drive that my word is Joy. I need to stop living in the negative of this or that will never happen and start living in the Joy that my life has and my future will have. It’s time for an attitude adjustment on my Big Dreams.
Yes, writing and getting published and publishing more Indie books is part of my dreams, but not giving up on my family dreams is also part of my 2017 goal.
Will I find the man of my dreams and get married this year? I don’t know, but if God wants it to happen, then I expect it to be done. I’m tired of exhausting myself by trying to control every little thing in my life. I’m giving God the reigns and sliding into the passenger seat to enjoy the ride.
My word for this year is Joy. What’s yours?